


Steel Crow Saga: Chopped Edition

by millihelenic



Category: Steel Crow Saga - Paul Krueger
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chopped, Cooking Show, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 09:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20691254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millihelenic/pseuds/millihelenic
Summary: Our intrepid heroes star in a cooking competition.





	Steel Crow Saga: Chopped Edition

Four contestants enter, but only ONE will go home with the 10,000 jian prize.

WHO WILL WIN

AND WHO

WILL

BE

CHOPPED?

**MEET THE CONTESTANTS**

Jimuro, a gentle, softhearted heir to a legacy he’s not sure he wants. Jimuro’s parents and sister were tragically killed while trying to escape an ambush. If Jimuro wins, he will use the 10,000 jian prize to set up a school in their honor.

Tala, a soldier haunted by the trauma she witnessed as just a child. She struggles to manage her PTSD with the help of her pet bird Beaky and the memory of her brother. If Tala wins the 10,000 jian prize, she… wouldn’t know what to do with it, to be honest.

Xiulan, a detective determined to prove her worth to an estranged family. She may seem eccentric, but don’t let her façade fool you—she’s a formidable talent in the kitchen. If she wins the 10,000 jian prize, she’ll set up a library featuring Bai Junjie’s complete canon.

And last, but certainly not least, Lee, a woman who has been marginalized her whole life, and who has had to deal with the criminal underworld to survive. If she wins the 10,000 jian prize, Lee plans to set up a therapy dog sanctuary, especially for war orphans.

**MEET THE JUDGES**

Shang Ruomei, heiress to an empire, with a refined global palate and standards nigh impossible to meet.

Bhavna Devarajah, mercantile multimillionaire who’s traveled the world tasting everything it has to offer.

General Erega, a veteran whose culinary awards outrank her military honors.

And finally, Mayon, a mysterious man with an insatiable appetite and a discerning palate.

**ROUND ONE: APPETIZER**

Each contestant has a box before them. At the signal, they open the boxes to reveal:

• shiitake mushrooms  
• canned adobo marinade  
• saltines  
• pork belly

Twenty minutes on the clock… and… GO!

The normally chipper Xiulan has recoiled in disgust. Jimuro has also gone pale. While they stand there dumbstruck, Tala and Lee elbow each other in their rush for the pantry. Lee grabs more spices than she needs, including the ones Tala was going to use.

Finally, Xiulan and Jimuro recover. The four busy themselves and plate their dishes as the timer runs out.

AND NOW, for the judging!

Jimuro has made savory adobo saltine pudding with stewed shiitake mushrooms. Immediately, Ruomei purses her lips.

“Where is the pork?” she asks. 

Jimuro stiffens as he straightens in response.

“Meat is both a moral and economical evil—”

Devarajah waves him off. “Next!”

Tala has made a traditional adobo that doesn’t draw any negative remarks from the judges. Lee has taken a Jeongsanese approach and created dolsot pork belly saltines. Xiulan presents a deconstructed dim sum concept largely dismissed by the judges as excessively complicated.

It comes as no surprise that Jimuro has been chopped. In his post-CHOPPED interview, Jimuro looks composed and more than slightly relieved.

“If the 10,000 jian comes at the expense of slaughtered animals, it’s all the better that I don’t win,” he says, shrugging.

**NEXT ROUND: ENTRÉE**

Again, the three remaining contestants open their boxes to reveal:

• longganisa  
• tofu skin  
• arugula  
• kimchi

Thirty minutes on the clock this time—and GO!

Tala and Lee elbow each other again. This time, Tala hides all the spices. Xiulan protests, but the judges shrug—the move is legal. As Lee gracefully picks out ingredients, Xiulan manages to overturn a basket of bell peppers and gloriously miss while trying to toss them back.

As the last seconds run out, the three of them plate their dishes madly. Xiulan smugly steps back once time is called, only to realize with horror that she’s completely forgotten the arugula on one of the plates.

Tala presents a warm longganisa and arugula salad with kimchi dressing and toasted tofu skin chips. The judges approve, though they comment that Tala could have transformed the arugula more. Lee presents tofu skin-wrapped longganisa and arugula lumpia with kimchi dipping sauce.

Xiulan has gone more conservative with this dish, choosing instead to create longganisa and arugula shaumai with a kimchi garnish.

“My plate,” Ruomei says, her voice dripping with disdain, “is missing arugula.”

Unsurprisingly, Xiulan is chopped.

“Of course, as luck would have it, my sister—a conflict of interest, by the way, to even have her judging while I’m a contestant—received the plate missing an ingredient. Now, that isn’t a death sentence in itself—”

The cameras cut off before she can finish her wordy interview.

Tala and Lee are now the finalists, competing in

**THE DESSERT ROUND**

The box this time features:

• durian  
• almond milk  
• frozen pastry puff  
• bacon jam

Last twenty minutes! GO!

Tala immediately runs to the ice cream machine, only to find that Lee has already poured cow milk into it. She didn’t even bother to set it to churn. Cursing in a string of bleeps to make the recording safe for syndication, she has to come up with an alternate plan, quick.

Meanwhile, Lee, wrinkling her nose at the smell of the durian, finds it difficult to even taste the fruit. Tala, however, is no stranger to the fragrance of durian, and digs in immediately.

The timer runs out. Both contestants step back from their work spaces, their hands in the air. Tala and Lee shoot glares at each other, but there is also a tacit understanding and respect. They are equals, evenly matched in this competition.

Lee has made a Shang-style durian egg tart. 

“The slightest touch of bacon jam really brings out the flavors of the durian,” General Erega says approvingly. “However, my pastry puff is soggy in the middle.”

Lee keeps her chin up as she says, “Thank you, Chef.”

Tala, meanwhile, presents a durian almond milk parfait with crisp pastry puff chips caramelized with bacon jam. The judges are divided. Ruomei isn’t much for the taste and leaves hers unfinished.

“Give him to me,” Mayon says, his own cup empty. Ruomei slides over her cup.

The contestants retreat backstage, where the camera captures their reluctant yet blossoming friendship.

“I never thought I’d get this far,” Lee confesses. Tala gives her a wry smile.

“That makes two of us, then.”

They sit together in silence, two misfits with a momentary home.

The judges deliberate, wavering on their choices.

“The flavors in Lee’s egg tart rival those in Shang,” Ruomei says.

“But mine was soggy,” General Erega notes.

They review the appetizers and entrées. Mayon has cleaned all twelve plates, but he still has insightful opinions.

At last, the contestants are brought back to the stage.

“Contestants…” the host says, “Only one of you will go home with the grand prize today. The one who will be chopped is…”

He lifts the silver lid. Lee’s eyes widen as Tala’s shoulders relax, just a little bit.

“Chef Lee, your flavors have been exquisite throughout, but your pastry puff in the dessert round—a foundational ingredient—was soggy,” Devarajah says apologetically. “You’ve been chopped.”

Lee still holds her chin high, her short hair framing her sharp cheekbones.

“Thank you, Chefs,” she says as she exits the stage. She’s less dignified in her interview, though.

“Soggy pastry puff? Really?” She shakes her head. “Whatever. I’ll be back, just you wait.”

Tala stands alone on the stage. As confetti rains down and the judges congratulate her, the host asks what she’ll do with her winnings.

“I don’t have any noble ambitions,” she admits. “But I know someone who does.”

When Lee is summoned back on stage, she has a quippy remark at the ready: “Couldn’t get enough of this pretty face, huh?”

Then Tala tells her what she wants to do with her 10,000 jian. Lee’s mouth drops open.

“Thank you,” she whispers as Tala hands the check to her.

**FLASH FORWARD SIX MONTHS**

Bootstrap Therapy Dog Sanctuary now boasts a healthy population of a dozen therapy dogs. Tala hasn’t gone, either. One particular dog named Kohaku has taken a liking to her, and, surprisingly, she _has_ eased her PTSD.

“We couldn’t have done this without Chopped,” Lee says, smiling. “Thanks again for the opportunity.”

**THE END**


End file.
